'Up for t'cup! Via National Express

“By heck! It’s bloody cold!” 🥶 -5 according to my dashboard temperature gauge, as I scrape away the overnight deposit left by Jack Frost on my car windows, before heading off to Nottingham bus station. I now know what temperature my windscreen washers freeze up at. But at least they will still be fully topped up and thawed out (at -2, for the record) in readiness for the drive back this afternoon, so hey ho!.

I pulled over en route, close the turning for Blidworth Bottoms (yes, theres really is a place called that) on the A614, to wipe the windows clean, so that I had at least a sporting chance of seeing any other drivers, who, like me, were daft enough to be out on the roads of Nottinghamshire at sick AM this morning. The things y’do for love, eh!?

Many months of unacceptably bad (and ever worsening) rail services have prompted me to seek out an alternative mode of transport to use on some of my more regular trips, starting from today. I could have driven, but the post-match traffic backlog around St. Andrew's is a absolute ball-ache, unless you leave the game early (and what is the point of even going in the first place, if you are planning to do that?).

Meanwhile parking away from the safe and supervised (but quite costly) facilities that the club has liaised with local businesses to provide, will most likely result in any motorist who runs the risk, having their car stolen, or stripped down for spares at the very least.

Thievery and removing vehicle parts to order, is a boom industry and frequently common practice on Saturday afternoons, in the vicinity of B9 (I hear told that it also happens regularly at that other ground, a few miles away in a place called Aston). West Midlands Police know all about it, but they are too busy hassling football fans to patrol the locality properly.

So my choice of motor conveyance on this crisp and chilly morn, was National Express coach travel, who I will be relying on for a trial period, pending future custom. First impressions were are all good, very good in fact. The charabanc was: spacious, comfortable, offered phone charger points galore and excellent on board WiFi.

It’s cheaper than train travel. There were no overcrowded standing room only aisles (no trolley hostess either though) and Birmingham Coach Station (in Digbeth) is roughly only half the distance to walk to the ground, that the route march from New Street train station is. And eat your heart out Cross Country trains, we left on time, exactly on the dot, at the scheduled time and arrived in Brum five minutes early.

Accessing the ground these days is a bit like completing an obstacle course, but is a veritable treat for anyone who enjoys being touched up and frisked. A peaceable and ever so slightly plump, balding and bespectacled sixty-something gentleman, sighed heavily and muttered a few expletives under his breath, when he was subjected to five different searches between the car park gates and the entrance turnstiles, as he made his way through the maze of temporary fences.

But hey! It's all part of the match day package these days, so I just had to grin and bear it. Having scrubbed the ice off of my seat (I'm not fond of having a wet arse) I took my pew, sat at the end of a row, which meant standing up at wearingly frequent intervals to let people squeeze past, including a lot of oblivious (or just plain selfish) types who seemed to think that turning up at anytime during the opening half an hour of the game and getting in everybody elses way is good practice.

The stairway immediately to my right hand side, was brimming with latecomers when Blues took the lead after just thirty-three seconds. Thankfully I saw the goal… and it needs to be said, that if you damn pests had got here on time, you might have seen it too. For the record, Ayumu Yokoyama opened the scoring, taking a touch after Scott Wright picked him out with an angled ball across the Imps goalmouth, before finishing with aplomb from close range.

To my left just over 1,400 Lincoln fans were making the most of their ‘up for t’cup’ big day out. Birmingham had played them off the park in a League 1 fixture at Sincil Bank earlier this season (19th October, attendance: 10,026) when, despite conceding an early goal, the final score of 1-3 to Blues), was a bit flattering to the Imps. Today, Lincoln, adorned in an excellent retro style away kit, gave a much better account of themselves, after the half-time break leastways, but struggled to find the finishing touches needed to compliment all of their hard work.

Although it wasn't exactly a scratch side that Blues fielded, it was a team selection that owed much to the fashionable practice of squad rotation for cup games, with over half of the players who had started in the 0-3 league win at Wigan a week ago being benched or ‘rested’ altogether.

In the third round Blues manager Chris Davies had selected a full strength side, who made hard work of seeing off Sutton United at Gander Green Lane, before mixing things up, by picking a few fringe? players for the second round tie at Blackpool. On this afternoon’s frost-topped surface, half-time came and went and despite having seen a lot of the ball, the hosts had failed to add to their early opening strike and effectively the game was still there for the taking.

The visitors picked up the pace after the break, but no amount of huffing and puffing was going to blow Blues house down. And with a little over ten minutes remaining, Lyndon Dykes netted a peach of a goal (check it out on Match of the Day tonight, or You Tube at your leisure) that seemed to have: ‘This way to round four” written all over it. Zach Jeacock, a former young Birmingham City hopeful, who was in goal for the visitors today, didn't stand a chance of stopping that one.

The BBC can close the voting with immediate effect, because right here, right now, ladies and gentlemen, there is surely only one contender for the goal of the month (season?).It was a strike worthy of winning any contest, even a fairly unspectacular and scrappy affair, like this one had turned out to be.

As the game ran over into stoppage time, a penalty to the visitors gave the travelling Imps fans something to shout about (although to their credit, they had already been fairly vociferous for the previous ninety-plus minutes), as Jovon Makama halved the deficit from the spot.

Lukas Jutkiewicz went close to restoring Blues two goal cushion, but with the clock ticking down, Lincoln were presented with a last chuck of the dice, when Blues conceded a corner. Even Jeacock was up for this one. Freddie Naylor leapt like a salmon to connect with the incoming flag-kick but glanced his header high and wide.

And that was that. No late jeapordy, no goal-scoring headline heroics for Zach on his homecoming, and no extra thirty minutes to sit and endure any more of this icy climate through. Blues are in the FA Cup fourth round draw, that will take place on BBC1 after tomorrow evening’s Arsenal v Manchester United tie reaches it conclusion.

A quick visit to reception on my way out, to exchange some paperwork (and stamp my feet repeatedly to get some feeling back into them) and it was time to get down off that hill, dodging through the hordes of frustrated drivers, as 17,000 people ignored the highway code and piled across the main drag in front of them and head to the coach station. I pondered; was this morning a typical representation of the service provided by National Express, or had it merely been a case of beginners luck for this humble scribe?

I’m (very) happy to report, that upon entering the terminus, my scheduled service was ticking over, warm and waiting, ready for boarding in five minutes and leaving in twenty. And it ran as smoothly on the way back as it did en route to this FA Cup third round encounter. Result! Err… 2-1 in front of a crowd of 17,302. No! I meant result on the travel front. This option will be given a second coat of looking into, for future expeditions, just as soon as I get home.

Footnote* Added Sunday 12.1.25. Birmingham City have been drawn at home in the fourth round of t’cup, where they will play Newcastle United.